just sharing

a few of my favorite tweets that have made me laugh.
if you are offended, i just don't care. don't read it you take offense easily.

dooceHeather B. Armstrong
"Sh*t!" - sh*t Mormons don't say.

26 Jan

simonpeggSimon Pegg
If you do get into a fight, just say "Liam Neeson" as you throw a punch, your mittens will catch fire and your enemy's life will fall off.

24 Jan

zachbraffZach Braff
Finally watched the Golden Globes. When did Johnny Depp get a cool European accent? I want one! Working on my British one. Cheers, mates.

17 Jan

JimGaffiganJim Gaffigan
Hey foreigners, enough with the accent. Talk normal.

14 Jan

stephenfalkStephen Falk
So far repeating "holy sh*t, there's really only one cashier" isn't working.

4 Jan

trevso_electricTrevor S
I used to clack around in stiletto heels so my downstairs neighbor thought I had sexy girls over and that worked until he saw me doing it.

2 Jan

FreddyAmazinLaugh!™
If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons make you fat.

27 Mar