seeing double

i used to think that all i was, was a mean person who walks around all day yelling at people. then, my husband took my three kids (and by my three kids i really mean my 2 year old plus the other two that i can handle on my own) to New Mexico over the Thanksgiving break and something happened to me. i was happy. i was calm. i didn't have to take any of my anxiety meds (except for that whole alien movie situation). i was laughing. i was dancing. i realized, hey maybe i am not a mean person after all.

(a little of Tessa's work)

i had a conversation with my mom where i was complaining about having a 2 year old and how much i really DON'T enjoy it. and my mom was all, " hey, Marci i had four 2 year olds. but, BUT i will grant you that Tessa is like having TWO 2 YEAR OLDS!!" oh thank you, my mother was understanding me and my struggle with coping with Tessa.

(and yet, another demonstration of Tessa's hard work)

greetings from the home of klonopin

for those of you who don't know...klonopin is an anti anxiety med that i am on. no, i don't plan on not taking it anytime soon. because here are some pictures of just one miniscule part of my life that gives me a panic attack.

having my kitchen floors ripped out (goodbye nasty ugly off white carpet that some genius had installed in the dining room!)

goodbye crappy, ugly linoleum that had a huge hole in it for like a year with duct tape around it to hold it down. yeah, you see that football shaped dirty spot, that is where we had no linoleum. oh, we are so white trash sometimes...

and my kitchen got moved into my front/family room. i then retreated to my bedroom, took my meds, turned on the tv and prayed for it all to go away. well actually i did that later on that night. what i did do, was have to drive tessa around for an hour or so for her nap because there was so much banging going on at the house...ROXY DID NOT LIKE IT EITHER! luckily, i have a husband who could forsee me freaking out if my kitchen was in the frontroom for longer than a day and decided to pay someone to install it in a day. and now look at it...
so nice and new and shiny

because it sure isn't going to last this way for long with an 8, 6, and 2 year old ruling the house!

wordy wednesday

all i have are words today. words of awfulness. i got a call from the school yesterday. the call was about kylee being thrown up on by another child. she needed a new shirt brought in to wear. now all i can think about is

YUCK

SICKNESS

FLU

ANXIETY

ANXIETY PILLS

FLU SEASON AND MY KIDS HAVE NOT HAD THEIR SHOTS YET

PLEASE GOD DON'T LET US GET SICK

MARCI YOU ARE OVER REACTING, STOP IT!

oh, and brenton told me he saw all this too (he has the same anxiety issues i have with throwing up also, i could never be bulimic sp?).

ugh!