i am jack's burnt up ashes

if you watch Fight Club you will understand the joke of my title for this blog. i was going to name it MEMORIALIZE ME but, since i was watching Fight Club i went with JACK. and can i just say that, that movie is my one of my favorite BRAD PITT BODY movies!

back to MEMORIALIZE ME...i am constantly asking Walter what he is SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY BODY WHEN I DIE. i worry about this alot, not because i am scared of death, but because i am scared of what is going to be done with me after i die. so here i am making it as official as i can right now. THIS IS WHAT I WANT DONE WITH MY BODY AFTER I DIE, PLEASE FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS.

A. i understand that everyone needs to go through their sorrow stage i just don't want it done at a funeral. do it in your house and then be done with it. i am not sad that i am dead, so get happy.

B. i DO NOT want a funeral or a viewing. both of these things creep me out and I DO NOT LIKE THEM.

C. i then want whatever parts of my body that can be used for WHATEVER REASON (SCIENCE OR TO HELP OTHERS) to get used

D. then send me to the incinerator and gather my ashes

E. take these ashes to California (sneak it if you have to BREAK THE STUPID LAW)

F. take a little baggie of ME to Disneyland and scatter it somewhere within the park then, take the rest of me and throw it into the ocean

H. whenever you feel like visiting me...TAKE A TRIP TO DISNEYLAND AND THE OCEAN!

i need a dwink

the other night the two year old took it upon herself to get her own after bath time snack. since our older two had SO KINDLY LEFT THE SNACK DOOR UNLATCHED, she was able to pick from a plethora of crap. what did she choose exactly? the dry chocolate milk mix that you put into your milk to make chocolate milk. yes, she took the whole container and a spoon and plopped herself on the floor in Brenton's room to watch a little TV and eat her dry chocolate mix. Walter eventually caught her and promptly placed her in time out. he then told me what had happened to which i ran and got the camera to snap the picture. after that i was trying to scold her while laughing at her. how do you do that? i cannot keep it together when it is something that funny. then as soon as i get serious with her, she promptly stops laughing and says in her serious voice,"I NEED A DWINK". to which i said, " i bet you do" and walked away.

a gem of a day

got some bad news tonight so i don't really feel like writing anything but, i can't sleep sooooo

i will give you this gem.

i made cake on Sunday night, oatmeal cake with rum sauce...so flippin good.

i made it in a HEAVY GLASS CAKE CONTAINER.

there was some of it still sitting on top of the oven.

i had all of the stools off the floor and blocking what was left of the cake. i know how that 2 year old mind works now, or so i thought.

i get out of the shower to find the 2 year old with her best friend Roxy sitting in the front room watching TV and eating cake...TOGETHER.

by the time i got to them the cake was all gone. i am sure that Roxy got the majority of it and so she got kicked outside because there was no way in hell i was going to clean up dog puke.

and the 2 year old...well, she just claimed that "the dog did it".

(imagine it sounding like i am falling down a long dark hole)

NOOOOOOOOOO...SPLAT!

i apologize

i am sorry. i know that you all wanted to know how tessa was doing and what her status was. you see, the problem was that i woke up to see SNOW FALLING ON MAY 24! i went into a state of shock. honestly, i was so angry, i just didn't speak for awhile. then when i did speak, believe me, you wouldn't have wanted to have been around me.

here is her status/story:
wed/thurs 1 am-walt takes tessa to the ER at Alta View (after i had told him three times over 2 1/2 hours). i then get a text message saying that they are giving her some steroid treatment and he should be home around 3 am. then next thing i know my phone is buzzing at 7am saying that they are now checking into PCH. i then get my kids off to school and then go and meet my husband there. i then find out that at Alta View they gave her a steroid med, then an epi treatment, then another epi treatment, and when none of that seemed to be working and her breathing was getting worse, they put her in an ambulance to Primary Childrens.

thurs-walt heads home to get some sleep. i lay in bed with tessa and hold her. i find the movie channel that they have. i then get happy to lay there with her and watch some movies. i also call my sister and tell her she needs to be at my house at 3 to get my kids from school. she, of course, is willing to do whatever i need her to do. around 3ish she gets another epi treatment along with Motrin for her fever. she was basically in and out of sleep that whole day and if she was awake she was NOT HAPPY. my dad then shows up to visit, then my mom and other sister, then the hubby, and then my dad comes back. we all go get dinner while walt lays with the baby. during this dinner i find out some very interesting things about my dad and some sneaky little tricks he has learned, I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER! we head back to see the baby and my dad and sister leave. i then fight with walt about who should stay with the baby. my fight was "but, you haven't had any sleep so i should probably stay here with her". when i was thinking, hmmm do i want to go back and deal with the other two...or lay in bed and watch the movie channel with a sleeping cuddly toddler. so i lost and headed back to my moms house to get the other two and thank my sister profusely for watching them.

Fri-send the kids off to school. go pick up tessa and walt. walt heads back to work. she now has nasty nasty cough attacks and is still a little bit clingy but everyday she is starting to get more and more back to herself. thank you for sending us all your healthy thoughts!

NOW BRADY SING IT FOR ME: "IT'S TOOOO LAAATE TO APOLOGIZE. IT'S TOOOO LAAATE."

there are no words

SHE isn't HERself

SHE would break your heart.

literally, your heart would fall out of your chest and break in two if you saw HER in HER hospital bed.

SHE is not HERself at all.

SHE is very sick.

SHE calls out for mommy, daddy, brenton, and brady.

yes, her cousin brady.

he must treat her good.

SHE is miserable and can only lay there and whine and fall asleep.

her grandma made her smile with a toy pig that laughs when you squeeze it and a night lite that changes colors.

SHE cannot talk (no voice), doesn't wanna eat (even though SHE gets room service), and rarely drinks (i think her throat and fever aren't helping that).

SHE is now sleeping with both of those things tonight.

grandma also bought toys for all her other healthy grandchildren that aunt nicole was taking care of for me.

SHE got a special visit from her grandpa, aunt molly, aunt dixine and uncle ross. and grandma too, of course.

hopefully SHE gets to come home sometime today.

crappity crap crap

too tired to blog.

sick child.

now she is sick with the croup.

a really really bad case of the croup.

the husband and i are fighting about the need to take her to be seen.

i, of course, thinks she needs to be seen.

he does not.

happy freakin anniversary to all.

UPDATE: i won. tessa went to ER at 1 AM.

UPDATE 2: she is now at Primary Children's. send her your prayers.

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TO ME and you too walter

stuck in a Texas airport

i knew we were gonna be stuck for a looong time so, that meant shopping and buying the kids something to entertain them.
there was supposedly "free Internet access" but, all it did was lead you to a site where you had to pay for use.

and i got to the point where i didn't even CARE if tessa rolled around on the dirty, grimy, grody, airport carpet anymore.

the very last photo...i think i had a headache and we were going to be boarding in like 45 minutes. brenton and kylee had to sit near an older man who was so nice to him and kylee. he let brenton talk his ear off at the beginning of the flight about all of the safety precautions and what to do (he has it down pat now) and then about 40 minutes into the flight he let brenton fall asleep on his arm/shoulder. THANK KIND GENTLEMAN FOR BEING SO NICE TO MY KIDS ON AN INSANELY LATE FLIGHT!

can you guess this sound?

turn up your volume and HEAR MY PAIN!

this is why my husband is not allowed to sleep in the same bedroom with me.

i taped this in the middle of the night when we were all sleeping in the same room at the Hilton in Orlando. which was the MOST AWESOME HOTEL WE HAVE EVER STAYED AT!

BECAUSE, that's why!

i just really really really want one KAAAAYYY! i have no reason for absolutely needing it, i just think it will come in handy for all of our road trips to Cali and flying to NY and Cabo (yes, we are heading there too). and for everything in between that. ooooo i want one soooo baaaad. on another note: i haven't been complaining about the weather this week. NOW THAT IS GROWTH!

doing the "told ya so" dance

first go HERE AND READ THIS

then imagine me dancing around doing the told ya so dance, because i totally am. also, i am getting over the flu and just want to get back into bed and watch some more of my TV. that is my excuse for the short post today. also, you need to watch the episode of Ghost Hunters called BEST OF STANLEY HOTEL. it is the hotel where the movie "THE SHINING" was filmed. my favorite episode yet!

REDRUM

fwee years old

Gatorland Part 2

and so we continue...

they have this walk that you can go on that takes you through the swampy area. it was the most quiet peaceful walk...REALLY!
and that spanish moss grows EVERYWHERE. to be honest, i kinda like it!

and naptime hit
another close up of the gators jumping for the food

the friendly massive turtle

with tessa standing on it for a ride

deep in GatorStew

the white gator (i forget what the real term for it is...)

and finally the photo that had my children and us in absolute AWE.