lollipops and rainbows

my mom would love to tell this story. let me rephrase that. my mother would take GREAT PLEASURE IN TELLING THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD THIS STORY! i know mom, i know, i know, i know, you are never going to let me live this down. i can see you at my funeral, or if you had already passed on you will have left a note saying read this at Marci's funeral, telling THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD THIS STORY. i then would say, "hahahaha jokes on you, i am not having a funeral, SO THERE!". i totally digress, i just had to let the Internet know that my mom LOVES THIS STORY so much, and it just happened on Thanksgiving night. here goes.



since it was just going to be my mom, sister molly, and i for Thanksgiving together (along with everyone at my grandma Metcalf's) we decided to go see a late night movie at the movie theatre. i have already seen practically everything so i thought," hey, Marci what about seeing the new scary alien movie. hahaha that will be so much fun.". i am soooo stupid. so stupid. this alien movie, THE FOURTH KIND, scared the living poop out of me. and while it was scaring the living poop out of me, my mom and sister were sitting there laughing at me. so after about an hour of me sitting there with my stomach churning (which doesn't feel good at all after eating a Thanksgiving dinner) i had to excuse myself to the bathroom. oh and by the way, in the middle of the movie (the aliens disguise themselves as these spooky owls) my mom leans over and says to me, "Marci, that is how the aliens do it. they disguise themselves to look like something else." to which i yelled back to her, "NOT HELPING MOTHER".



so i am sitting in the bathroom for like five minutes thinking i am going to be sick when finally my stomach calms down and i realize it is the movie doing this to me. i decide to go back in and give it a try (the movie only had like 35 minutes left, you can do this Marci). as i am walking in the aliens are talking on a recorded tape IN THEIR ALIEN LANGUAGE! i sit down next to my mom and she tells me what i missed, i nod my head, sit there for another minute, then turn to them and say, "i can't do this. i thought i could. i feel like throwing up. i am going to go sneak into another movie to ride this out." i then stand up and leave with my mom and sister laughing me all the way out of the movie. i then start darting from theatre to theatre in the hallway where our movie was playing, all the while the ticket taking lady is staring at me. first theatre...2012, crap already saw that one. second theatre...The Fourth Kind (later showing), OMG GET ME OUTTA HERE. third theatre...Old Dogs, OK i can hang out here let me just find a seat, sit down, and...credits start rolling. fourth theatre...middle of Pirate Radio, too confusing to watch from the middle of. by now i have reached to ticket taking lady and she is just looking at me funny. i then turn to her and laughingly say, " yeah, i was just in the movie, The Fourth Kind, and it was making me sick. my mom is supposed to be in a showing of New Moon and i can't figure out what theatre that one is???" to which she replies, "oh, it's not showing in this area (or, sorry you are screwed. you are totally stuck with the movie you paid for. SUFFER!) so i smile and walk back and sit on a bench to wait it out.



while i am sitting on the bench i decide to start texting my hubby, who is in New Mexico, and tell him my story of the movie with lollipops and rainbows. luckily he keeps me entertained for about 20 minutes and then i get a text that says at 11:05, "sorry babe. i am falling asleep. it's been a long day. goodnight sleep well my love." now i need another way to entertain myself for another 10-20 minutes...then, this old guy walks out of the PUBLIC MOVIE BATHROOM WITH JUST HIS SOCKS ON. just his socks. no shoes. socks. and then he sits down on the bench across from me and starts making business calls. while he is making these business calls he says, "yeah i am here with my son in law seeing 2012". and i am just fascinated by the fact that he is sitting there in his SOCKS making business calls at 11:15ish PM and totally missing his movie! yep, he did it for me. he entertained me until my mom and sister came out. and my mom is all, "Marci, it was just like Communion! (she says this to me like three times). to which i reply to her three times, "MOM I NEVER READ THE BOOK OR ANY BOOK HAVING TO DO WITH ALIENS!". and then my mom and sister made fun of me for the rest of the night...wait, i mean MY LIFE!

PS Kyle was the only one who guessed on why my last post was named 300. doesn't the Internet love me enough to make some funny guesses? close Ky, sooo close. it was because it was my 300th post. i have actually never seen the movie 300, but think about watching it sometimes.

300

"why do you have that blanket on?"

"because i am cold"

"but, you are NEVER cold. do you feel ok?"

"yes, i feel fine i am just a little tired."

"i just don't understand, you never use a blanket. all you are is a walking electric blanket." then i lean over and feel his head just to make sure he doesn't have a FEVER (with the swine flu going through the family, you never know...).

"hmmm, you were right. you don't have a fever."

"see i told you i was fine, i am just COLD. i would tell you if i had a FEVER."

"no you wouldn't, because i am a FREAK when it comes to illness in the family."

"yes, you are a BIG FREAK...AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!"

(can you figure out why i named this post 300?)

the post where i say GUN and HELL

i am torn as to how to address my blog today. yes, it is thanksgiving and i should totally be doing some "I AM THANKFUL FOR..." post. but really, i don't wanna cause that is how i am. i have to say though, that the medication i am on has seriously helped my depression drama but not my anxiety issues. which is actually OK because i have a WHOLE OTHER MEDICATION FOR THAT PROBLEM. before i put myself on medication, i can remember walter saying things to me like "count your blessings" and "if you just think positive" and many other stupid positive quotes. i can remember one time i looked at him and said, "if you say that POSITIVE CRAP to me one more time i am gonna shove it up your BUTT!". this is how you feel when you are in the depths of where i was at the time, that is how i justify myself (take it or leave it).
this is who i am, and i can totally accept it. i am trying my darnedest to try and "think more positive", really i totally am, kinda, sometimes...OK on the good days i can REALLY THINK POSITIVE. today though. today i am not feeling super positive. my dad isn't here. he isn't here to celebrate his favorite holiday. with his family. who he totally deserves to be with. so my sister and i are going to go to a late scary movie after we eat with family and i am going to have her sleepover with me and watch movies in bed with me...and maybe ROXY, shh don't tell the husband.
here is the one thing i am thankful for...my husbands family is having thanksgiving in THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, NEW MEXICO and i don't have to go. when they announced this, i looked over at walter and said "no way in hell am i driving to the middle of nowhere to spend four days and not have Disneyland at the end of the destination. nope, no way in hell." he has so kindly obliged and is taking all the kids with him. so i will be all by myself for the next four days. oh sweet silence, how i have missed you so. for those of you who are worried about me being by myself...don't. i have a big dog who doesn't take kindly to strangers and lets them know with her ferocious growl/bark and i am letting her sleep with me and a gun under my pillow. HAPPY THANKSGIVING YO!

all about HIM

can you guess who he LOVES BEING WITH?

technically

technically speaking it is my SISTER'S BIRTHDAY tomorrow.

technically speaking i should be doing a HAPPY BIRTHDAY post tomorrow.

technically speaking her son is my favorite nephew and technically speaking he LOVES seeing his face on my blog.

so technically speaking, tomorrow is going to be about my SISTER'S OLDEST SON and MY FAVORITE NEPHEW.

because, technically speaking it is HER BIRTHDAY TOMORROW.

i love you so much that i named tessa...tessa nicole, and i know how much you love it that when my kids get in trouble, i use their middle name.

we lOvE yOu So VeRy MuCh!

apple pie of my eye

right now i am looking up pie recipe's on MARTHA STEWART'S website. i have just watched one of her shows and decided that i am going to make a pie FROM SCRATCH. i can do that. i think. while i am doing this i can't help but think about my DAD. his favorite holiday is THANKSGIVING. he loved the food and being with his family more than anything. i know that what he misses the most is spending time with his GRAND KIDS, WHO ADORE HIM, and ask me everyday when is grandpa coming home?

my dad always LOVED it when i would cook anything from scratch. he would always tell me, no matter what it was i had baked, that it was THE BEST (whatever i had attempted to bake/make) HE HAD EVER HAD!
so right now, as i am looking at pies that i want to make, i am thinking of my DAD and missing him so much that my heart is hurting. i want to make a pie just for him and send it to him. SANTA, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT FOR ME?

i also went into Williams Sonoma to get some baking molds, among other things that i love there, and walked out with the pie mold that makes this. i also got the pecan butter pumpkin filling that they have...the kids and i are going to have a good time with that after Thanksgiving.

GLASSES

NO ONE and i mean NO ONE looks cuter or sweeter in GLASSES

than THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE!

wouldn't be the HOLIDAYS without it...

i LOVE the GAP HOLIDAY ADS...every year. and this year my latest addiction is SWEATERS. for some reason i just can't get enough of them. now if i could come up with a way to support my HABIT.

how do i explain THIS to the owner of these glasses?

WHO?

people are now telling us that we look alike since i got my haircut. so, my question is, do i look like her? or does she look like me?

and that ONE on the LEFT thinks she looks like all of us. but, the one in the MIDDLE, i do not know where she came from. just like i have no idea where Kylee came from, maybe that is why she is called Molly #2!

i had no idea how far my blog extends

this is a response i got from my neighbor. apparently he reads my blog...hello neighbors! it makes me laugh to wonder at how many people find me funny or infuriating. anyways, i thought i would let him have his say on my blog...


"Sorry Marci, but I didn't yell at Brenton. I merely suggested that the kids play the length of the street as opposed to the width of the street. He was hitting a ball with a tennis racket towards my house. Just thought it would be better to hit the ball the length of the street as opposed towards a neighbor's house. BTW, I always say 'please' when asking them to do something. Also, I don't recall 'yelling' at your dog. The dog is only chasing a ball that somebody threw, she doesn't know any better. If I was going to say anything to anybody, I would say something to the person who threw the ball. Another thing, I ask the kids to not ride their bikes on my property, because they're not wearing helmets. I don't need a lawsuit on my hands. One last thing, who was that went to your husband Walt a few weeks back, after I found Brenton playing with matches in the yard behind me. That's the third time I caught Felipe playing with matches and I didn't want your kid being influenced by a bad kid. I'm not a bad guy Marci, just don't think you're being told the whole story. If you'd like to discuss anything in my post, you know where I live. Mr. Cranky Pants"
October 19, 2009 4:12 PM


i guess all i have to say is that our circle has a big hill at the end of it so they have a hard time playing ball that way without running into the main street. we have been talking to brenton about matches since the beginning of summer but, he is a boy and it will probably take a few more reprimands before he gets it through his head. and you are right, you never yelled( if you haven't noticed i exaggerate on this blog, i am a drama queen) at the dog, you just don't like us letting her near your property which we have tried our hardest to do. i had no idea you had a problem about the bike thing? i will let my children know. sincerely, marci

brentonism

the kids and i were driving in the car listening to my ipod, which is on shuffle, so you never know what you are gonna get. the song man of a thousand faces by regina spektor came on and i thought nothing of it. then i overhear brenton say to himself, " i think that sounds like a compliment. man of a thousand faces. yeah, that has to be a good thing."

then when we got home he told me that he was going to teach Brady how to play pokeman. i then remind him that Brady is quite a bit younger than him and i don't think he will understand that card game. he then looks at me as if i don't understand anything in an 8 year olds world and says, "mom, it is soooo easy. i can explain it in like two sentences. i just say nah nah nah nah (yes, he really said nah nah nah nah cause i wan't worth using the real words on) and Brady will understand it."

OKAY, IF YOU SAY SO!

He is her drug of choice

tessa has an addiction problem. i know, how can a two year old have a habit already? she does, and it is bad! her addiction is...Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. that child could watch that show all day long and still it wouldn't be enough to fill her addictive needs. ask her who she loves? answer, Mickey Mouse!

one of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse dvd's we own is a halloween one and in one of the episodes they say, "HOCUS POCUS". so today when i had some candy and she wanted some, i said "what is the magic word?". and everyone knows that the magic word is PLEASE. guess what she did? she hesitated for a moment and then looked up at me and said, "HOCUS POCUS". now how could i deny that? she got two candies for a HOCUS POCUS!

CoUsInS r FuN

all hallow's eve

i love how the RED EYE problem actually works with this picture.
even though she was sick, i still let her dress up to stay inside at grandma's house.another bloody shot

one happy go lucky flower showing her power.

who knew that THE VAMPIRE and SPIDERMAN were friends??

ANTIBIONICS

Brenton gave me the name of this post simply because he calls, antibiotics-"ANTIBIONICS". and with that i begin my short story of a crazed woman driving around for antibionics at 11 o'clock at night.
as you all know we have been sticken in the Ruf household with the dreaded SWINE FLU! it hasn't left us now for over a week, it must enjoy my hospitality. anyways, Brenton came down with it Sunday and spent the entire week laying in his bed watching movies. while he was laying in his bed watching movies, he was also laying on just one side. by Saturday we thought he was doing better and was well enough to go with Kylee and I to the movies. we saw A CHRISTMAS CAROL IN 3D, and we loved it! Walt wasn't able to go because Tessa was showing signs of coming down with oinking, so he stayed home with her and let me venture out of the house into the real world. when we got home from the movie, we took baths, got ready for bed, then...Brenton comes out and informs us that the ear he has been laying on all week "felt like there was a headache in his ear". it was 9:30 so i threw him and Tessa in the car a flew down to nightime pediatrics (i wanted to sneak Tessa in to get her ears checked just in case...you never know). we were then told that YES HE DOES HAVE AN EAR INFECTION and Tessa didn't, then given a RX and sent out the door with all of our SWINE FLU GERMS! by then i knew that the kids had to get to bed and needed some meds because their fevers had gone back up. so, i pulled into our garage, threw them out of the car to their father, and backed up yelling "i have to go find a pharmacy to fill the ANTIBIONICS".


now i was alone in the car and listening to Christmas music. i always start listening to Christmas music once November comes, it's the only thing that makes me feel okay about the cold weather rolling in. all i could think while i was driving like a mad woman trying to find a 24 hour pharmacy was, i feel like i am in a crazy holiday movie and my hair should be a big fat mess and my eyes all crazed like and gripping the steering wheel as tight as i can while i am speeding through snow covered streets and fishtailing it everywhere...all the while, happy christmas music is playing in the background.


i finally found a 24 hour Walgreens in Draper and sat there at 11 at night for twenty minutes waiting for the ANTIBIONICS to be filled. what i found to be entertaining was all the people who were coming in to pick up their RX's. seriously, people just coming in as if they were just running another errand about their day AT 11 PM! who does that? oh, i think i am going to pick up my RX now at the pharmacy...yep, 11PM that should be about the perfect time to go and get that med. and oh, how my curiousity was peaking (because i had nothing else to do but sit there) about what it was they were taking and why and AND why did it cost so much??


by the time i got home Brenton had fallen asleep and wasn't able to take the ANTIBIONICS until he woke up the next morning. i then promptly went into my bedroom and screamed into my pillow.

smacking her ONE AND ONLY with a stick

yes, we encouraged the children to smack Mickey's face with a stick
even tessa hit her beloved's face a few times
my bro-in-law (in the dr suit) said,"shouldn't it be like against the law to hit Mickey Mouse in the face?"
here's what the kids thought...

she now poops Mickey Mouse

her one and only TRUE LOVE


her "first" birthday present

grandma dressed up as her one and only TRUE LOVE

family and friends who came to see the party about her one and only TRUE LOVE

the WHITE RABBIT and a FLOWER

my lame attempt at recreating her one and only TRUE LOVE in cake form (she got ahold of the plastic Mickey figurine and lovingly chewed/sucked on his ear before i put it on the cake)

lost in WONDERLAND (i know it had nothing to do with Mickey Mouse and Brenton wanted nothing to do with it because in Wonderland there are no vampires)

halloween parade

sick, sicker, and sickest

i think i would call myself sick. i don't have the fever but i do have the aches and pains that go along with the oinking flu. i would then name kylee sicker. she came down with her headache on saturday morning and by the afternoon she was in bed with a fever. do you all remember what saturday was? IT WAS HALLOWEEN. a holiday that a 6 year old looks forward to with such happiness and excitement that when they are told they won't be trick or treating, they slam the door on you and mope in their room for 2 WHOLE HOURS! she made daddy take out her halloween bag to gather candy for her and he was given a hard time with his "my daughter is sick in bed with the flu so i have her bag for her". do tons of grown men use this excuse?? which leaves us with brenton being the sickest. he came down with the headache sunday afternoon and by that night he had the worst fever. the problem with saying F-E-V-E-R in front of my first born, is that he is a hypochondriac. there was immediate gnashing of teething and tearing of clothing and screaming and crying. you see, in his mind, FEVER=THROWING UP! luckily, we haven't had any of that.

now i am just waiting for the 2 year old to come down with it...

99 problems but,

MY TV AIN'T ONE!
oh happy birthday to me
and my little shadow, too. i have also decided that all those houses i walk into that are perfectly decorated and are insanely clean and they have more kids than i, they just don't have a new tv in their bedroom like me. i feel so sorry for them, they are missing out on the best tv watching EVER!!