damaged

i don't' really have much to say right now. my kids are off for spring break and i wanted to do something SPRING-Y with them but, i can't. wanna know why? cause SNOW SUCKS AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SPRING IN UTAH! it goes straight from FREEZING SNOW to DESERT HEAT. i have also decided that what my family has gone through has caused us all to have wounds and damages that i don't think will ever go away. we are changed forever now. i have a completely different perspective on this life and America in general. i am sick of hearing "it's all in God's plan" and "just keep praying". right now i don't know how to help my family, especially my Mom and Dad, put themselves back together again. i wish i could now say APRIL FOOLS. I AM TOTALLY FINE AND HAPPY AND IN LOVE WITH THE WORLD AND JOY IS SHOOTING OUT OF MY HEAD. it isn't. i am lost. i am angry. i am hurt. i want to fix it. everything is damaged right now though.