my duty

i have received a summons for jury duty.

i gave them my reasons as to why i would make a horrible selection, what with my dad being incarcerated and all. it didn't take. i still got the summons.

i have now read the instructions that i should follow CAREFULLY.

1. i have to call tonight after 5 to get my instructions for next week. my summons is for 6-7 to 6-11.
OK I WILL ADHERE TO THAT

2. phone line may be busy, keep calling.
WE'LL SEE WHAT I AM IN THE MOOD TO DO

3. if you have a disability or an emergency call the clerk.
DOES MENTAL DISABILITY COUNT AND WHAT IF I AM SUPER SICK THAT WHOLE WEEK?

4. tell your employer you have been called to jury service.
I TOLD THE TWO YEAR OLD. SHE JUST STARED BACK AT ME.

5. do not bring children.
IF I AM THEIR CHILDCARE THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO???

6. do not bring any guns, knives, or weapons.
DAMN, THERE GOES MY CHANCE TO SHOW OFF MY NEW HUNTING KNIFE.

7. dress in business attire. do not wear casual clothes.
MY BUSINESS ATTIRE IS CASUAL CLOTHES. REALLY, JUST ASK MY EMPLOYER.

8. expect to wait.
NO YOU EXPECT TO WAIT! OK FINE, OH HUSBAND I NEED THAT IPAD NOW!

all i can think is, THEY ARE CRAZY FOR WANTING A CRAZY PERSON TO SERVE JURY DUTY. ESPECIALLY ONE WHO IS AS OUTSPOKEN AS I AM TO PEOPLE WHO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.